Trying to Get Centered - January 22, 2010
It seems I have been amiss in keeping up with my journal. I have been struggling with myself in so many directions, feeling failure more than success, although it could be more in my imagination than reality.
Having dealt with my illness for so many months this past year and still dealing with the residual effects of it all, I have found myself unable to get back to a truly centered prayer life, focus on my weight and thereby my health, and to my music and the songs that God has given me to use on another CD.
It just seems that I'm tired all the time, but maybe, I'm letting the devil win. Maybe it's easier just to be lazy and make excuses.
I went to a wonderful Marian Conference last weekend that helped me at least in mind, regain some of the focus of my relationship with Mary and with her son, Jesus.
I was helping with the music ministry for the weekend with my two awesome friends, Matthew Baute and Annie Karto. Both of these holy people have turned their lives over to our God in service with their music. So, although I wanted to get my CD into some new hands and hearts, I didn't want to jeopardize any sales they would have for theirs since it affects their living circumstances.
So, Thursday, the day before the weekend was to begin I heard the call to give my CD's away for contributions to help the enormous needs in Haiti. I had no idea what to expect.....and for sure, I didn't expect to collect $1620 for the relief efforts!
And that's when I realized that God still wants me to work with and for Him. I have been thinking about my day to day situation and ways to improve these things that I have been neglecting, specifically my prayer time and music and weight management.
And that in turn, led me to Lent. It is always surreal to realize that just when we are packing away our Christmas music it is time to start thinking about Lent. So, I want to really make a promise to do something concrete to prepare my heart for this holy time. One thing I've decided is that I want to give up an hour each evening dedicated to prayer in some form. I also want to spend a designated time to work on my music. And lastly, I want to undo some bad eating habits that crept back into my life since I had my surgery, one being, drinking soda.
So, I am making this vow in this forum to do these things. Are you ready? Have you thought about how you can make yourself a better person in body and heart to be completely worthy of Jesus' sacrifice for us?
Having dealt with my illness for so many months this past year and still dealing with the residual effects of it all, I have found myself unable to get back to a truly centered prayer life, focus on my weight and thereby my health, and to my music and the songs that God has given me to use on another CD.
It just seems that I'm tired all the time, but maybe, I'm letting the devil win. Maybe it's easier just to be lazy and make excuses.
I went to a wonderful Marian Conference last weekend that helped me at least in mind, regain some of the focus of my relationship with Mary and with her son, Jesus.
I was helping with the music ministry for the weekend with my two awesome friends, Matthew Baute and Annie Karto. Both of these holy people have turned their lives over to our God in service with their music. So, although I wanted to get my CD into some new hands and hearts, I didn't want to jeopardize any sales they would have for theirs since it affects their living circumstances.
So, Thursday, the day before the weekend was to begin I heard the call to give my CD's away for contributions to help the enormous needs in Haiti. I had no idea what to expect.....and for sure, I didn't expect to collect $1620 for the relief efforts!
And that's when I realized that God still wants me to work with and for Him. I have been thinking about my day to day situation and ways to improve these things that I have been neglecting, specifically my prayer time and music and weight management.
And that in turn, led me to Lent. It is always surreal to realize that just when we are packing away our Christmas music it is time to start thinking about Lent. So, I want to really make a promise to do something concrete to prepare my heart for this holy time. One thing I've decided is that I want to give up an hour each evening dedicated to prayer in some form. I also want to spend a designated time to work on my music. And lastly, I want to undo some bad eating habits that crept back into my life since I had my surgery, one being, drinking soda.
So, I am making this vow in this forum to do these things. Are you ready? Have you thought about how you can make yourself a better person in body and heart to be completely worthy of Jesus' sacrifice for us?