Sally Bolderson: Home

I have been marveling in the miracle of birth the past few days as my dear friends (Matthew and Leah) gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Gregory William! I remember so vividly the feelings of unconditional love that I had after the births of my children. It is so powerful to realize how much you love this tiny new person that you just met! Such a beautiful miracle.

But as with living, there is dying and in September (3 days apart) I lost my mother's brother and sister. They were sick at the time of her death, and finally joined her in the glories of heaven. My aunt was a School Sister of Notre Dame and one of the sisters in her order told my surviving aunt that she must have called my uncle up to the party! I can envision it now the great reunion in the sky!

It does bring a whole new perspective of what is yet to come for us. We are born and we die and hopefully everthing in between has meaning!

I realize it's been a really long stretch of inactivity since my last post and trust me that's ONLY here on my blog.

For those of you who check my sight often, since my last post, my life has been turned inside out.

My mother was having bladder problems and some abnormal findings in her female organs and required surgery. She had a history of heart disease and her cardiologist was concerned about her ability to withstand a long surgery. She went to surgery on July 1st and although they found an aggressive cancer in her uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and pelvic cavity, she came through the surgery well. She had nausea throughout the weekend and complaints of back pains. On Monday, July 4th while my sister was with her, she was told that if she was able to use the bathroom she could go home. After eating about 1/2 of her lunch she began vomiting and aspirated (inhaled) on it. She went into cardiac arrest and although they got her heart beat back she later died after another episode later in the day. There are no words to explain the loss of a mother. In hindsight we all know that she was ready and that now she is reunited with my dad and older brother, but every day there is a pain in my heart longing to speak to her.

The day following her death, my daughter, Angela who has been going through so much of her own was told that she will not regain her lost vision and would forever be legally blind.

My heart and brain just shut down. I could not speak to anyone on the following day trying to comprehend the depth of what had transpired the past 2 days.

But God in His mercy took over for me. He helped things to fall into place so that I could breathe and take one step after another.

As I've said all along, I (we) are not alone. Our loving God is with us in our joys, our fears, our sadness...in all of our needs. I have come to believe that it is a gift to be challenged...to realize that He loves me SO much that He knows my faith will not bend. His love and support are everlasting. Jesus, I trust in you!

As mentioned in my last post my daughter, Angela, is suffering from several significant health issues. Just this week, she had a VP shunt put into her head to drain off the excess spinal fluid that has been causing her to lose her eyesight. She will also be facing a brain biopsy for a mass on the right side of her brain unrelated to her spinal fluid issue. She has been on kidney dialysis for almost 4 years. Needless to say, any of these is more than any one person should have to deal with.

My family has become notorious for the challenges we are faced with. As we are going through these things with Angela, my 83 year old mother is facing surgery herself next week for problems with her ovaries and uterus. She is a 2 time breast cancer survivor and the thought of this being another cancer is very real in our minds.

As I spread the word asking for prayers I have had many comment that "God never gives us more than we can handle."

I've thought a LOT about this statement and I have felt confident in His presence in all of this. I know that He is here, walking this journey with us. And it has come to my thinking that it's not that he sees us worthy and gives us more than our share.....it's that He's ALWAYS there, so no matter how much tragedy or struggles come our way, it just doesn't matter...we are never alone.

(on another note....happy birthday, Dad!)